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"Strange New World: a retirement speech"

All who buy these speeches are blessed and prospered!

Executive Summary

A humorous delivery about giving, passion, and selfishness -- in the form of a mock retirement speech.

copyright © 1999-2013 by William Lee Henthorn. All rights reserved.

 I bless and prosper all who buy digital goods from this website!

 

DID YOU KNOW: Although other speech sites charge an outrageous $19.97 to $27.90 per speech, you can ...

Download your copy instantly for only $4.47 ... or SAVE even more:




You get: 5 Humorous Speeches:
    1. Strange New World
    2. Magically, Mysteriously, Mystically ...
    3. The Spirit of Giving
    4. The Light Out There: a true story
    5. The Progressive Cliff

You get: 2 New Lifestyle Speeches:
    6. Lest We Capitalists Forget
    7. Be Aware: It's Simplicity Itself

You get: 3 Inspirational Speeches:
    8. A Wakeup Call
    9. Pearls Before Swine
   10. Running from the War

Priced individually, these 10 speeches total $44.70. But they're yours for ...

Just $32.97
I SAVE $11.73 (or 26%)!
6 Speeches (3-Pack Inspirational Speeches) + (3-Pack Humorous Speeches): ORDER NOW!


You get: 5 Humorous Speeches:

    1. Strange New World
    2. Magically, Mysteriously, Mystically ...
    3. The Spirit of Giving
    4. The Light Out There: a true story
    5. The Progressive Cliff

Priced individually, these 5 speeches total $22.35. But they're yours for ...

Just $17.97
I SAVE $4.47 (or 20%)!
6 Speeches (3-Pack Inspirational Speeches) + (3-Pack Humorous Speeches): ORDER NOW!


The Spirit of Giving

You tap into the GREAT POWER of this very POPULAR, incredibly ENTERTAINING humorous speech!

Just $4.47
(a good value)

Magically, Mysteriously, Mystically ... maybe: ORDER NOW!


 

Credit Cards accepted

I understand that NO MATTER WHAT ...

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Speech Text:



Fellow Guests:

What I'm going to say is going to sound odd for a retirement speech. It will sound more like an inspirational talk.

But this is MY retirement speech. And I'm NOT going to talk about myself that much. I WILL talk about you. And I will share my thoughts about Giving, Passion, and Selfishness, and how wonderful they all are. Especially the last one, Selfishness.

Why so different?

In January of last year, I was taken from this world for 3 months and put in a strange new world.

Then something slowly began to happen. The gelatinous contents of the chrysalis have been solidifying into a new creature. A butterfly? Hell, no. A huge, scary, black moth that will make you scream and wet your pants.



Let's begin with giving. I've been a giver all my life. Yep, I've given. A lot. Too much. Way more than others.

And I'm ever so humble about it, too.

My practice of giving started at an early age -- in the Episcopal Church. I came in new. Then Father Turnbull tricked me by asking to fill in as an acolyte -- an altar boy -- just this time.

My church career took off. I started as A Torch Bearer -- carrying a stinking candle on a stick while hot dripping wax burnt my hands. Then I engineered my next move, carrying the incense boat, by spreading premarital sex humors about the 15-year-old pimple-faced incumbent. Bad career move. Have you ever had smoldering incense pumping hard into your face for 90 minutes? I puked once. But I was okay -- since it went all over the Torch Bearer. Leadership tip: Always keep them down. But I couldn't get Father Turnbull's job. So, taking a huge signing bonus, I converted to Buddhism.

As you can see, I gave of myself at an early age.

Giving is good.

Just make sure you give to yourself. Because that's giving, too. True, Jesus washed some feet, but even He set aside fun time for water walking, and sometimes even a bubble bath with scented candles accompanied by a glass of merlot and Godiva chocolates.



Let's turn to passion.

A few of you here are fueled by some passion. Something deep within that perhaps took a long time to get out, like finally having your dentist pull that decaying molar because keeping it in hurt more than having her pull it out.

Next, some of you have a vision, getting clearer every week, of something incredible within you.

And last, there are some of you who know there's something in there. But like that storage unit in upstate New York you keep paying monthly year after year, you don't know what's in there anymore.

Those of you with a vision of something within, and those of you paying for monthly storage, I want to talk to you.

Whatever you can do to begin, begin it now.

As you start your baby steps, and as you fall flat on your face and get up smarting from the incredibly sharp pain to try again, something mysterious happens. You start to hear the guiding voice. You start to see your gifts and use them. And that slight shimmering on the distant horizon gets clearer. And closer.

It was always within you to be able to walk. And to run. And to soar.

All of life is just a decision. Whether to sit, or to get up and walk through that door. It's the decision that's hard. The doing part is easy.

But don't be stupid: The journey of a thousand miles does NOT start with a single step. It starts with a call to my friend Sal who runs a travel agency.



Now, It's time to talk about ... selfishness. I especially want to address the women here about thinking and acting more selfishly. But this applies if you are a woman or a man.

Nonprofit organizations are an excellent training ground to learn leadership skills by giving and serving. You build upon what self-confidence you bring when you arrive. You get the opportunity to give to others by serving, and can be rewarded by doing so if you know how, with higher office, higher level contacts, and higher quality friends.

But there's a point at which you say, Enough. For most, that's when the first educational certificate arrives in the mail. For others, it's after serving as an officer.

Put those skills you develop to use in the real world. By getting out of the sandbox, going out there, and changing a person's life with your skills, your words, and your heart.

Stop hiding in the comfort of an organization. Be selfish. Leave your comfort zone.

It's scary to leave your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. You're always going to be in the dark. Never knowing quite where you are. Guided only by a vision that sprang from your heart about where you want to go. And ... accompanied by lots of people who say you can't. Can't do it. Can't make it. Can't be it.

To heck with them. Be selfish.

Women: this is for you. Start doing for yourself that which you would have them do for you. Stop pouring out your heart until it no longer has a soul, in the faint and uncertain hopes that you'll get a thank you flatter than day old soda in return. Don't wait for their thanks. Don't even wait.

To heck with them. Be selfish.

Everyone: Whatever it is, remember, YOU always come first. Be selfish. Don't ever give away your power. If you usually say "yes" to requests, practice saying no for the heck of it. It gives you freedom and power. It teaches other responsibility. And it's fun to tick off people by keeping your power, as you watch them do backflips trying in vain to manipulate you, and then get mad when it doesn't work. Incredibly fun. Seriously!



I'd like to end my speech with a quote from one of my favorite movies, Braveheart. William Wallace, leading a Scottish uprising against the British, says, "Everyone dies. But not every one lives."

But I won't end with that. That was a movie. A Hollywood movie on top of it.

But William Wallace had a vision formulated in youth, of freedom for the Scots. He started the first step with no resources, and mysterious things happened in his favor, as thousands of others joined him.

Yes, he gave of himself and ultimately his life before his dream was realized. But he did it selfishly for himself. And he was driven with passion, which revealed his gifts.

Be the dreamer of dreams. Dream big dreams. And one day you will awaken as someone new. A huge, scary, black moth. In a strange new world.

 



DID YOU KNOW: Although other speech sites charge an outrageous $19.97 to $27.90 per speech, you can ...

Download your copy instantly for only $4.47 ... or SAVE even more:

YES! I want to tap into the GREAT POWER of these very POPULAR, incredibly ENTERTAINING humorous speeches!

I'm making my selection below now:




You get: 5 Humorous Speeches:
    1. Strange New World
    2. Magically, Mysteriously, Mystically ...
    3. The Spirit of Giving
    4. The Light Out There: a true story
    5. The Progressive Cliff

You get: 2 New Lifestyle Speeches:
    6. Lest We Capitalists Forget
    7. Be Aware: It's Simplicity Itself

You get: 3 Inspirational Speeches:
    8. A Wakeup Call
    9. Pearls Before Swine
   10. Running from the War

Priced individually, these 10 speeches total $44.70. But they're yours for ...

Just $32.97
I SAVE $11.73 (or 26%)!
6 Speeches (3-Pack Inspirational Speeches) + (3-Pack Humorous Speeches): ORDER NOW!


You get: 5 Humorous Speeches:

    1. Strange New World
    2. Magically, Mysteriously, Mystically ...
    3. The Spirit of Giving
    4. The Light Out There: a true story
    5. The Progressive Cliff

Priced individually, these 5 speeches total $22.35. But they're yours for ...

Just $17.97
I SAVE $4.47 (or 20%)!
6 Speeches (3-Pack Inspirational Speeches) + (3-Pack Humorous Speeches): ORDER NOW!


Strange New World

You tap into the GREAT POWER of this very POPULAR, incredibly ENTERTAINING humorous speech!

Just $4.47
(a good value)

Magically, Mysteriously, Mystically ... maybe: ORDER NOW!


 

Credit Cards accepted

I understand that NO MATTER WHAT ...

My total satisfaction and safety are absolutely guaranteed with your no-questions-asked, 365-day, 100% money back guarantee.

I'm making my choice above now:
100% satisfaction guarantee
 
 

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